I was never much for school. In the beginning, I was either being outspoken, bullied or hiding away doodling in the back row. I was eventually smart enough to take a minimalist approach and squeak through. I suppose had I applied myself more I could have been the 1st oboist in the LA Philharmonic or the lawyer representing her, but it seemed in order to get there I had to embrace the rules and find some sort of passion in following them, and I could not. I am grateful to the doctors and musicians who do have the discipline to keep their learned and highly educated skills in service to us. Part of me laments my lack of focus, but I trust everyone has a creative path to follow and many of us have trouble colouring within the lines let alone doing it for years or a lifetime.

I have managed to find my own kind of discipline in life, one that is perhaps inherent in each of us. One mightn’t have thought I possessed it had they judged me on my rule following performance. It’s not a calculated discipline I’ve had to remind myself to practice. It’s a gift I gave to me. It’s how I remained afloat. It came through following what made me feel alive, through nature and through creativity. In art we remind ourselves of and interpret the magic we experience here. I have been disciplined in keeping that alive and it has served me well in life.

At first, creativity was a distraction, something that made me late for the party and away in thought. Then, as the world encompassed me more and drove the wonder from the corners of my mind, it was creativity that eventually invited it back. It was creativity that gave me strength and inspiration when nothing else could.

I walked along the stream one morning this week. An artist had stopped on the bridge, sketch pad in hand, capturing the winter scene. In a moment it became mystical and precious.

As much as we’re told to behave and to hold hands and stick together, there is part of each of us that just wants to be that artist standing on the bridge, alone, unaware of the day, capturing the depth of the scene only we can see, as if it were meant just for us.

Learn we must and learn we do. If given the chance we’d probably be ok without school, ok without rules, day-timers, reminders and dues. We’d probably trust each other more and feel less inclined to defend. We’d hold each other to our word. We’d probably share more and care more and in the end we’d even learn more.

Since the rules and the systems we’ve put into place are largely failing us today, perhaps we should wipe the chalk board clean, stand up, dust ourselves off and accept life on earth as the ultimate school. Let’s listen very closely, leave the rules to the universe.

 

When I go for a walk I’m not thinking about the value of the trees or the water, I am just eternally grateful that they are there for us. A stream is for water animals to live in, not for us to pollute. The trees provide oxygen and clean the air, but to us they’re paper and wood and we use it without even thinking about it. How long can the earth sustain us with this mindset? How long before the people getting rich by abusing our natural resources have to find some other way?

In Canada we have a Prime Minister who spends more time trying to hash out deals with China than he does trying to maintain what Canada stands for. China wants our oil and Harper is salivating at all the money this could mean. To Harper, when he looks out at our vast open spaces, all he can see is money to be earned. He doesn’t care about habitat preservation, he doesn’t care about ecosystems being destroyed, and in fact he calls those who do care radical. He is disgustingly good at presenting himself as Mr. Rogers whilst he steals from your back pocket the things you care most about. I believe we call that a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

So the world today is being run guided by the economy vs. quality of life. But here’s the thing, WE CREATED ECONOMY AND WE CAN RECREATE IT TO MEET OUR NEEDS TODAY.

My dad ran a family business. I did not once hear him talk about ‘growth’. He had his rates and when life became more expensive he raised his rates. He didn’t try to outdo himself every year. What he focused on was relationships and providing the best service he could.

Everyone is trying to earn more and more money and the quality of our existence has plummeted. The atrocities committed against animals through harvesting resources (where they live) and trying to get larger and larger yields through factory farming has turned us into a completely despicable race. We don’t know it as consumers because what we see is what ad agencies are paid to deliver – to make products look squeaky clean and to get us thinking we can’t live without them.

So how can we live in this world without being part of this devastation?

1) Ensure our investment portfolios are helping the good guys undo the damage. The stock market makes companies do terrible things to make our money grow, which they feel obligated to do because we invested in them. Be aware of this and take some responsibility for it.

2) Research how the products you want were manufactured/grown/harvested and if you couldn’t do it yourself, don’t buy it. Because in buying it, you’re doing it.

3) Reduce your consumption.

4) As animal lovers, take a good look at how we use animals and at how our behaviours and lifestyle may impact their existence. Hint: it’s in everything we touch.

5) Remember that the only ads we see are from corporations that can afford the ads. We don’t hear the other side of the story because no one can afford to tell it to us. We need to be smarter than this.

When it comes to money, it’s only worth something if we can hold our heads high with pride about how it came to us, anything less is just an embarrassment. If making money is more important than being civilized, then we are no longer civilized.

 

It has been a beautiful winter here. There’s been just enough snow to make it look like winter periodically but not enough to be an inconvenience. I’ve been able to walk the trails most days. This keeps me centered, inspired and feeling good about being alive.

It’s been 3 months since my mom passed away, 9 months since my dad passed away, and just yesterday we finally got to the stage where we can hand my parent’s house over to a contractor to ready it for sale.

I remember when my parents moved into that house. My Dad had been granted a dream gig as the house piano bar player at a swanky resort, a kind of karmic allowance for the hundreds (thousands?) of drives he’d done over the years to get to parties. No matter what, if you hired my Dad, he would be there. Blizzards, deaths in the family, there was nothing that kept him away from fulfilling an obligation. He was the entertainment for some very big events, he had to be there. That meant lots of navigating downtown locations, loading gear in and out of loading docks and freight elevators and many long drives back to the country in the middle of the night, not to mention having to be ‘on’ every night. Then there was his dream gig and he moved within 5 minutes of the resort right across from a provincial park where he could wander at his leisure daily.

I’ve been clinging to these memories of their lives of late, the good times. The last 15 years of their lives were incredibly challenging. I have some very difficult memories to accompany me for the rest of my life. But when I sweep them aside, which gets easier as the months pass, I find the moments of pride and joy that made up the wonder of their life, the pride and joy that they so rightly deserved. They were hard working people who delivered a lot of enjoyment in their lifetimes.

There is no life left in the house now, no music, just empty rooms and echoes. There are no birds at the feeders, or little red squirrels darting in and out of the shed. All that is left is the memories we carry with us and the influence they had on us.

It’s occurred to me of late, that in order for our lives to echo out, in order for the rooms to feel hauntingly empty when we’re gone, we have to have lived in a way that touched people and left an indelible impression on them.

As the winter days grow longer and my personal responsibilities lessen, I plan to take time to wonder and wander a bit more. It’s in the wondering and the wandering that I find peace.

 

This is my Dad playing the popular That's All - composed by Alan Brandt and Bob Haymes in 1952:

As the world changes around us, it’s important to remember who we are. We are not just the product of today, each and every one of us is made up of molecules that have belonged to earth for millennia. We are, quite literally, star dust.

I don’t watch the news. I go looking for the news; the news that relates to me, the news that is important to me, and the news that I can possibly do something to change. I will not let my life be coloured by people who sit in executive offices deciding what the masses will digest most. Apparently fear and people behaving badly is their successful business model, good for them for finding it, and good for us for tuning out.

But how easy is it to tune out? Even the wisest people I know, at times, get swept away by the latest trend or story. It’s exciting to be connected and in the know. But how much of our story is sponsored by corporations?

Most of the fashion we see in the hip hop world was driven by corporations going into the hood and giving free stuff to gangsters. The look caught on and presto, you’ve got a bunch of people walking around with their pants around their ankles not even knowing they’re a corporate puppet. How smart is that really?

It’s time to pull up the pants folks!

We need to teach ourselves and our children the value of self. We need to ask ourselves before we follow the latest trend or waste another week doing nothing but witnessing life, what is it that I’m all about at the core, why do I like this show/shoe/story so much? Is it because I think I’m supposed to, or is it because it genuinely resonates with me? Then we need to take it further and see why it resonates with us, is it because it resonated with our neighbour? Our parent? Our spouse? The cool kid in school? Someone we don’t even really know on facebook?

This is difficult work to do, and it can be lonely to step away from the crowd, but, I think it’s necessary to ensure that at the end of your life you don’t feel like you wasted it going in the wrong direction and therefore never finding your best, truest self.

Your family and birth place was just the way you got here, the beginning of your story. You’re a free spirit here to explore an exciting life meant just for you. You won’t find it in stuff. You won’t find a nice tidy guide book to get you there either, but if you turn off the noise often enough to hear your inner voice, you may find a few bread crumbs left by your spirit guides to help you find YOUR way.

We are stardust, we are golden, and we’ve got to find our way back to the garden. – Joni Mitchell

 

I don’t think anyone grows up thinking ‘I want to be a sales person at Sears’. Maybe there are a select few, and I’m sure if we were to ask their talent supply manager we’d find out there are indeed people working there that did have the dream, maybe because of the location, maybe because of the flexible hours in retail, but I maintain that for most, this was not part of the plan.

I’ve been keenly aware of this as a people manager myself. When we manage people, we are not just telling them how to do a job, we are colouring their lives. We can make or break their day in an instant, and we can change the way they view their job and their contribution to it, in fact, I would say it’s our responsibility to do so.

We all had plans at one point, but we forgot about the intent behind them, the real goal that our souls desire.

The other day I had plans; I wanted to go to the farmer’s market to get a great lunch and I wanted to get out into the middle of the forest and meditate in nature. The day went entirely awry, I actually found myself at the dreaded MALL for a moment even, in fact the day was railroaded to the point of humour but really at the end of the day, I had enjoyed a great lunch (not from the market), a great walk (not in the woods) and had acquired a new wisdom about letting go of plans to make way for flow.

Perhaps when we ask ourselves what we want to be when we grow up we should be using more attainable concepts like: happy, fulfilled, loved, inspired and inspiring.

Perhaps when we’re prodding our younger generation on their future plans we can help them find and strive for these fundamental things too. If we all measured our lives and circumstances on a happiness scale we’d find ways to get those ratings off the charts.

So this year I challenge you all: Regardless of the ‘tasks’ you’re asked to do in this life, at this moment, and regardless of how far off your path you feel; to find a way for happiness, fulfillment, love and inspiration to make its way in, today. You may not be on the path you expected to be on, and it may not look like you thought it would, but if your intentions are truly to find it, you will. It’s actually right in front of you and all around you, every moment of every day, guaranteed.